Hard Pill to Swallow

This has been a difficult post to write and the reason for my winter funk. Everything was going along as usual...or as usual as things can be over here. A chaotic routine had developed. The girls would head to school, Larry to work and after Mr. Liu had dropped off Larry he'd return to take me to the kindergarten.

The kids in my morning classes were more subdued than than the ones in my afternoon classes, but still had plenty of energy to run me ragged. We were never in our seats. We danced, sang and played games. Some days between classes, I'd simply go home and lay on the floor, trying to catch my breath. My girls thought I'd lost my mind since I was always singing every childrens' song I could think of. Falling asleep at night was no longer a problem, I was so drained. But, it was a wonderful feeling. I absolutely loved going to the school. The children looked at me like I was a saint, which we all know is a stretch. Their parents and grandparents would pat me on the back and shake my hand with huge smiles on their faces. The ego boost I guess I'd been needing was certainly filled by these angels.

So, imagine my surprise when the principal told me that she and several of the teachers wanted to talk to me about my teaching methods. At first I thought they wanted some tips. How foolish of me. I told Larry about the upcoming meeting and his response was "They probably don't want you having fun with the kids. That's not the Chinese way". No, that couldn't be it or could it? Yes, it could.

Three teachers and the principal calmly told me that I wasn't to teach emotions, that the children and I should stay in our seats for the lesson, and the use of games and song should only be used sparingly. They offered me several different methods, complete with CDs. I'm sure I looked like a large mouth bass. I remember snapping my jaw closed and hanging my head in an effort from shedding tears. My thought was how glad I was Larry had prepared me for this even though at the time I didn't believe him.

I suppose in hindsight I could have nodded and accepted their revised methods, but I was so angry I told them I could not teach like that. Children need to be able to express themselves, they learn better and faster when they are entertained and can partake in the entertainment. Of course, I didn't say any of that, I simply told them I wasn't the kind of teacher they wanted. They were shocked and asked me to reconsider. Perhaps, if I'd stayed I eventually could have snuck in some fun times here and there. The communist grip has never shown itself as much as it did that day. I only hope for the sake of the children that grip loosens.